Morgi's · Musings

Hippos fart out of their mouths.

It was supposed to be the perfect cup of coffee. But my life is never perfect, so I should have known better…

Nine o’clock, time to log myself off the sick line and head to the break room for a little pick-me-up. Unfortunately, drinking at work is frowned upon, so I had to make do with peppermint mocha creamer instead of Irish Cream. Ah well, there was a nip in the air, and having slept poorly last night non-alcoholic coffee would work just fine.

Those who know me well know that I am not much of a coffee drinker. When I do decide to indulge in a cuppa, it has to be very blond and very sweet. I found this yummy liquid creamer and thought it would be a nice treat for the winter months. It’s smooth and creamy, with just a hint of mint chocolaty goodness. MMMMMM!

Off I go to the break room, fancy lidded mug compliments of management in hand, ready to indulge. I rinse the mug, turn the fridge to grab the cream and discover horror or horrors, that SOMEONE has helped them self to my treat. Not only that, but they used it all up and put it back in the refrigerator! I’m telling you I felt just like baby bear with the porridge at that moment.

For god’s sake, what is this world coming too when not even a person’s creamer is safe from pilfering? And to return the empty bottle to the fridge? A slap in the face I call it. What’s next, will they be taking the fancy colored pens off my desk? Oh wait, they already do that. Is nothing sacred in this world? What was there left for me to do but make a cup of tea, write a scathing note to “Whomever” felt it was ok to steal from me, post it on the refrigerator door and retreat back to my cubbie, my Monday made worse by the Mystery Creamer Thief.

At least I still have all my pens….I think.

The urge to write pulls at me like a fish on a line. I’m caught, I want to get away from it but I can’t; it just keeps pulling me closer and closer to it. I don’t even know what I want to write about. I just want to write. I want to keep putting words down until something emerges that speaks to me. I want the soft whispers that flutter against my heart strings to shout out loud to the world. I want to share the story that is inside me with the world, but I don’t know where to start. I’m not entirely sure what the story is, or who the characters are. Maybe there is more than one. I just know that somewhere, deep inside my soul is a story to be told.

Is it fear that keeps me back? Am I lacking the confidence to put myself out into the world? Is it lack of ability? Surely that can’t be it? I’ve heard it from too many sources, “You are a good story teller”, “You should write your stories down.” etc. But somehow, when I put the pen to paper, the words dry up and the ideas flutter away like a leaf in the autumn wind.

I want to tell the story of Arthur when he returns to the world. I want to tell the story of an unlikely bunch of heroes as they bumble through life together. I want to tell the story of the girl who loved too much, but never felt loved in return; or maybe the one about the fat best friend. I want to take the second class character, and turn them into an amazing protagonist; to push them front and center and hear their tale for a change.

Who is this hero? Why can’t I hear her voice? Why can’t I find the key that will unlock her story?

Closure: The act of closing or being closed. An end or finishing

I find that I am close to finishing to a chapter in my life that I hope someday upon rereading won't be quite so painful the second time around. I have made peace with some of the demons that have haunted me all summer long. Things haven't turned out exactly they way I wished with some of those demons, but none of them chase me through the night any longer.

It has been a long summer, one of lessons learned, losses counted, lessons learned and knowledge gained. I pray I never have another summer like the one just passed; but now, looking back, I would not change a thing.

I have learned a lot about myself this summer. I know that I can endure more than I ever thought possible and come out the other side whole, if not unscathed. I learned to trust myself and to live with and love who I am. I don't have to be happy with the outside, to like the inside. Outsides are malleable; I can and will change what I don't like about my outward appearance. Insides are more durable, yet fragile in their own right. If you don't nourish them, protect them the shrivel and die; yet feed them with love and knowledge and all you have to do is sit back and watch them soar.

I don't want to live a closed off, fearful existence anymore. I don't want to be so afraid of loss that I don't really live. I will be me, and those that don't/can't/won't except that…well, they can simply go shag themselves. I learned the truth of who I am and what I want out of life this summer. I learned that just because I love and want someone in my life I don't need them; I won't shrivel up and die without them. I may even blossom when I no longer live in their shadow. The funny thing is, I was the one that planted myself in so many shadows.

So, I learned to uproot myself and replant in a somewhat sunnier location. I know that I don't belong in the full sun. The only spotlight for me is the one on stage, but partly shaded is fine by me. I like being the backbone that holds things together, but I will no longer hold on so tight that the only thing I accomplish is getting splinters in my hands and driving away my shade. That, is a lesson I am not likely to ever forget.

I close the door on summer, on so many things, some are locked, others are simply gently shut should so they can be opened again at the right time. At the same time, I throw wide open the windows of opportunity and breath in the cool refreshing scent of autumn.

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Lady

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Yesterday was our first day using the Rec Center. The plan was to spend an hour circut training and an hour swiming. Unfortunately we got off to a rocky start. ( Read more... )

Leave a comment and I will:

(1) tell you why I friended you,
(2) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, etc.,
(3) tell you something I like about you,
(4) tell you a memory I have of you,
(5) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
(6) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
(7) in return, you must post this in your LJ

Why does this not suprise me?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

Because I'm bored, and I would really like to learn more about y'all:

If you are on my friends list, I want to know things about you. I don't care if we never talk, if you're more of a lurker, or if we already know everything about each other.

BE HONEST! Answer the questions in a comment, then repost on your own journal if you like.

Are you currently in a serious relationship?

What was your dream growing up?

What talent do you wish you had?

If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Favorite vegetable?

What was the last book you read?

What zodiac sign are you?

Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

Worst Habit?

If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?

What is your favorite sport?

Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?

What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

Worst thing to ever happen to you?

Tell me one weird fact about you.

Do you have any pets?

What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

What was your first impression of me?

Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

What color eyes do you have?

Ever been arrested?

White or red wine?

If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

What's your favorite place to hang at?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Do you swear a lot?

Biggest pet peeve?

In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Do you believe/appreciate romance?

Do you believe in God?

Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about happiness, kindness and believing in one’s self. I even bought a book of Daily Meditations to help me along on this journey of self discovery and recovery. Today’s reading didn’t really strike a cord with me until I read the thought for the day.

“I realize that healthy living has more to do with behavior than theory.”

I have the knowledge I need to live a healthier, more productive life; what I need help with is putting that knowledge to work in practical means. I’ve heard Nike’s slogan from so many people, I even have it posted on my cube wall at work. “Just Do It”. It’s a terrific theory, but how do I translate that into a behavior? This is what I have to work on.

So, my dear friends and readers, here’s to a new month ahead and actually “doing it”!

This was hard to keep at less than 500 words. There is a second version I am working on my my personal journal.

Dream House

As you enter the tree lined street of a small suburban neighborhood, the sound of children playing floats through the air. Laughter and screams of delight echo between the moderately sized homes and the atmosphere seems to buzz with the sounds of lawnmowers and trimmers as families of various shapes, sizes and colors work to make the outsides of their homes as perfect as can be. The scent of new mown grass, flower gardens and backyard cookouts gently tantalize the senses as you pull up in front of a quaint craftsman style cottage.

Entering the yard through a traditional white picket fence, you pass under an arch covered with climbing roses and step into a beautiful English style cottage garden. The ground is carpeted with a sea of green grass and bordered with a riot of colors from all sorts of pretty flowers. Every spare inch of the yard has some hidden delight, from sparkling gazing balls to curious little garden gnomes peeking between the leaves of a huge lavender plant. Fairies dance through an oasis of pansies and squires chatter loudly as they try to breech the security systems of whimsical tree houses hanging from the branches of an apple tree; a silent sentry keeping watch over the path to the front door.

At the door, you are greeted by a cheerful wreath of flowers and a mat welcoming you into my home. Once through the threshold, you are comforted by the gentle scent of vanilla. The walls are painted soothing shades of blues and greens and the hard wood floors gleam with polish. The floors are scattered with beautifully patterned rugs and carpets. Please, roam about and explore to your heart’s content, you might be surprised by the treasures you will find.

Every room is oasis of comfort, each decorated differently from the next yet melding into a cohesive, comfortable home. A cozy great room, filled with books, blankets, movies and games, an dragon’s lair for an art studio, a romantic fairy bower for a master bedroom, a large kitchen perfect for dinner for two and fetes for twenty, a gypsy’s tent is my creative retreat and the master bath is a princesses spa. The hundred acre wood stretches out on the nursery walls.

Stepping out the back door, you are transported to my own little Eden, a large deck with more cozy seating, a sunny play area with a sandbox and play set occupies one corner of the large yard. An herb garden with a bubbling fountain takes center stage and a vegetable garden lines the back fence.

Join me won’t you, in my breakfast nook. I’ll make us a pot of tea and we can discuss our hopes and dreams while watching butterflies flirt with flowers from the large picture window. I guarantee you won’t want to leave.

So, I have set a goal for myself. One that I can actually see myself attaining. I signed up for a years worth of free journalling prompts. I'm hoping, that these little sparks for the fires of imagination will help me not only to write more, but eventually better. I slack too much on the journalling, even my private diary goes weeks, sometimes months without being fed. What do I have to pass on to future generations? What is my legacy if not my words. How do I inspire, leave my mark, be remembered without doing something worth remembering. I don't fear death, in so much as I fear being forgotten, living an exsistance that had no meaning. And so, since I have no children; I write.

The first prompt, should you choose to play along:
Dream House
Describe your dream house. Where is it located? How many bedrooms? Is there a swing set in the backyard or a motorcycle? The more details, the better.

I will post my response this afternoon.

Well, I have fallen so far, and so hard off the wagon that I wasn’t sure I could even catch up to the dang thing, let alone get back on. 2007 was a crappy year. Between marriage issues, friends and family passing, job and money trouble the last thing I was thinking about was getting fit.

With a new year coming, and a host of potentially good things to look forward to in 2008, I’m ready to get back on track. I am determined to get down to 175 by this time next year come hell or high water. (Getting knocked up will of course require a slight revamping of the plan, but still…)

To this end, I will be attempting to motivate myself back onto the treadmill at lunch and ignoring my constant carb cravings. I only wish that fresh fruit and veggies were not so expensive, and that my husband would eat fish. At least drinking tons of water and green tea have become second nature to me. I rarely have a soda anymore, and when I do I don’t often finish the whole thing before it becomes too sweet.

Good bye Jack and Coke, I will miss you my friend.

So, I’ve found the wagon tracks, and I see the dust cloud from the wheels, hopefully I can catch up and jump on soon. This time, I’m using a seat belt.

I am guilty of neglecting my blogs again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I am seriously having trouble motivating myself to do ANYTHING. Honestly, I can’t even concentrate on craft project or housework long enough to accomplish a darn thing.

Thus, I give you:

A MEME

Yesterday, I turned 36 without my Dad. It sucked, although I had a nice day overall. Rick and Mom took me out to dinner, and I got to speak to my sister, so I wasn't totally forgotten.

I'll be Morgi's Turkey Week in Review soon, stay tuned for the crazy details of my crazy week.

If you ask I will...

1. Tell you why I friended you.

2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.

3. Tell you something I like about you.

4. Tell you a memory I have of you.

5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.

6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.

7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

I think this is fairly accurate, what do y'all think?

Once more, I find myself moved to write about my irritating coworkers. Perhaps it’s because I’ve nothing better to write about, or perhaps I just want my readers (all four of you) to share in my pain. ( Read more... )